Frustrated

So this is week 4 of this dosage of meds, this is what they call "therapeutic dose". From all that I've read from other people, most people get past these side effects by the 2nd week or so. I haven't been so lucky and I would hope that being in week 4 of this, that they would subside.

Because of these side effects I'm having a hard time getting things done. Yes, I know I need to take it easy on myself and give myself time, but cleaning the bathroom shouldn't require having to take a break in between. My bathroom is tiny!!!

I also seem to still have this grey fogginess hanging around. Reminds me of the beginning of seasonal depression, Just the grey dreary, blahs that creep in before the the darkness of true depression. If I had to take an educated guess I'd say it's the frustration I'm currently feeling that's causing it. I feel like I'm stuck.

I'm also still struggling with my relationship with God, still having feelings of shame. With this I'm being patient with myself and showing myself some grace. I may not be able to study my Bible and pray for my own situation or even start the new book I bought on finding my my identity in Christ. However, I can listen to and sing along with worship music, I can pray for others,  I can listen to the Bible app that my husband turns on every night when we go to sleep, and I can be still and listen.

My psychologist is concerned that I'm still struggling with shame. The next meeting he said we were going to work on some techniques to help me break down that barrier. I'm looking forward to it.